Tools
Tragic loss of life, social distancing, quarantine, racial injustice, financial hardships… 2020 was the year in which taking care of our physical and mental health became more about survival than indulgence. For many people - essential workers, for example, who had to prioritize work and service, often at great personal expense - self-care was hard to to. So before we go into the tools that helped me in 2020, I want to express gratitude to all who sacrificed so much this year, in selfless service of others; I hope that the new year brings health, wellness, and abundance to all.
This list represents the best tools and interventions that I discovered during 2020. They are also things that I have since integrated into my routine because I found them to be beneficial for my mental health/physical wellness/relationships (meaning that they might work for you, too. Or not. Either way, I’d love to hear about your experience if you intend to try any of this, or are already doing it).
The idea is to summarize everything in this list; I plan on writing in more detail about each of these tools in subsequent posts, where I will include more about my own experiences with them, as well as any published research studies that I find. If you would like to share your own take on these, or any other tools that you love, leave your comment below or send a message.
An important note: no tool in the world can substitute human connection; it goes without saying that, as always, the people I care about the most in the world have been my biggest source of support. If you find yourself in need of professional help in order to (re)connect with others, please consider reaching out to a mental health professional.
Without minimizing the importance of a good night’s rest to our overall wellbeing, I would probably not include yoga nidra in this list if it were only a sleep aid. The key benefit of this practice, in my experience, is increased awareness of the body, down to its most peripheral parts.
To try it yourself, I recommend the free Insight Timer meditation app; I have been regularly returning to the soothing, skillfully guided yoga nidra session by Jennifer Piercy, Nids Nidra, and the ethereal Tanis Fishman.
2. Breathwork
Not taking your breath for granted could have been one of the many lessons of the Covid-19 pandemic. Breathing is an essential bodily function that we can consciously control. It is our gateway to regulating our physiology by tapping into the parasympathetic nervous system.
Breathing exercises (pranayama) are usually done at the beginning or the end of any yoga (asana) session, and focusing on the natural rhythm of breathing is a common anchor in mindfulness mediation. However, breathwork as a stand-alone practice can be a power tool for mental and physical health.
Some techniques worth knowing, and incorporating into your daily routine, are the energizing Breath of Fire, the calming Alternate Nostril Breathing, and the grounding Complete Breath.
3. Backbending
Having a strong spine just sounds like a good idea, both literally and metaphorically. Above all, this practice is about patience, and loving, mindful movement, so if you are looking to calmly challenge and connect with yourself, I would recommend it.
Subtle, but noticeable progress in both the depth and the ease of posture is real, and is another reason why I am sticking with it.
However, the risk of injury is real, so I recommend following instructions from an experienced yoga teacher or practitioner.
In 2020, I committed to practicing with the “backbending queen” Talia Sutra, via her app (pictured). Another inspiring teacher is Stevana; her Zoom workshops come highly recommended.
Because sleep is so important, and yet so elusive to many of us, here is another sleep tool that I discovered in 2020 - or rather rediscovered, after many, many years :).
In lieu of parents, this time around, bedtime stories are told to me by the gentle, soothing voices of Audible narrators - and they work just as well (or maybe even better? It’s been too long).
I first discovered the Audible Sleep collection in late 2019, but it really expanded this year, and with it, my habit of falling to sleep to the sounds of The Tea Shoppe, Quilt Collecting, or Pumpkin Stew. Yes, the plotlines are as riveting as the titles suggest. But there is more here then just the sheer dullness of what is being narrated.
In my experience, these stories seem to wrap themselves around you like a warm blanket, and cradle you in a cocoon of comforting images that gently lull you to sleep, rather than knock you out. The Audible collection is free for subscribers, and there are also a number of stories available on the aforementioned Insight Timer app (free).
These classes by Beducated came highly recommended, and they turned out to be a wonderful find. The 50 or so courses are informative, inspirational, inclusive, sex-positive, and yes, sexy.
A particularly nice feature is that the classes are primarily pleasure-focused, as opposed to goal (orgasm)-oriented.
You can practice with a partner or by yourself; modules include instructions for both options.
(Link to give you a 25% referral discount )
6. Meditative Poetry
Meditation comes in many forms, and it can do so much; we use it to cultivate calm, equanimity, focus, loving-kindness, self-compassion. This year, I learned that a certain kind of poetry can serve the same purpose. Similar to the tradition of koans (short stories used in Zen Buddhism, sometimes reminiscent of haiku), poems can be deeply moving, evocative, and contemplative.
My entry into the world of meditative poetry was through the remarkable works of David Whythe. When reading his poems by yourself - or even better, listening to David’s own interpretations of them (on YouTube, or via Sam Harris’s meditation app Waking Up) - you are invited to draw your gaze inwards and reflect on the emotions that are bound to rise to the surface.
