Books, p.2
Continuing from a week weeks ago, this part 2 of the list of books that impacted me in a profound way contains titles that are related to my favorite topics - mental health, psychology, human development, and growth. Some of these works are conventional self-help literature in the best possible sense of the word - approachable and engaging, without patronizing or dumbing down important concepts. Others are more geared towards mental health professionals, but free of unnecessary jargon, and applicable to everyone with an interest in the topics discussed, regardless of pre-existing knowledge. Regardless of which category they fall into, I consider all the books on this list to be amazing guides on the road to living a better life and having a better relationship with yourself and others.
Waking Up: A Guide to Spirituality Without Religion by Sam Harris: As an atheist or an agnostic, finding an expression for your spiritual side can seem like an impossible task. People tend to crave labels, so it can often feel like you are being asked to pick a known category and align yourself with it. When it comes to spirituality, these categories are usually offered to us as various organized religions, cults, sects, spiritual communities, etc. Sam’s book lays out an alternative to that, in form of self-exploration of the mind through the practice of meditation in the non-dualistic tradition. The appeal of this idea for someone who is not religious is that it doesn’t require you to let go of skepticism and surrender to blind faith. It is an experiential practice, which, despite of its portrayals in the popular culture, does not require a specific ritual or lifestyle. It is available to everyone, in every moment. In fact, it’s main message is exactly that: this moment is all we have, and consciousness is the only truth that we can be sure of.
Love’s Executioner & Other Tales of Psychotherapy by Irvin Yalom: A classic of the genre, written by the legendary co-founder of Existential Therapy. The book is a collection of short stories, each describing a real case from Dr. Yalom’s practice. Each story give the reader an insider’s view of a specific life struggle (presenting problem), and the path to its resolution, with Dr. Yalom’s skillful guidance, insight, honesty, and humor. This book teaches you a lot about what it’s like to be a therapist, as well as what it’s like to be a struggling human who eventually manages to find a way out.
Maybe You Should Talk to Someone by Lori Gottlieb: Another book about therapy for clients and therapists (and therapist-clients). An honest, moving, funny self-disclosure from an experienced practitioner about what it is really like to have virtual strangers reveal to you their most hidden parts, and the life-changing (at times life-saving) connection that gets established during the weekly 50-minute sessions, even when the client is a person you really don’t like. This book also has a lot of important things to say the process of grappling with grief, death, aging, parenthood, and love.
Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence by Esther Perel: First of all, Esther Perel is a great writer; she is witty, eloquent, and elegant in her phrasing. She is also, above all, a highly intelligent and empathetic therapists, who seems to have been born to work in her field - couples and relationships. This is one of those books that has the capacity to make you reexamine your past relationships and change the way you see (and exist in) your current and future ones. The main theme of the book is the tension between our innate need for love (represented as belonging and security) and our need for freedom (represented as the unknown, the mysterious, the erotic). The story goes like this: you get what (or whom) you want, you settle in, and then boredom ensues, and all you want to do is get out and, sooner or later, hop into another cycle. And that is, in a nutshell, why relationships seem doomed to fail. Or are they?
Attachment Theory in Practice: Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) with Individuals, Couples, and Families by Susan Johnson: While Esther Perel’s approach is mostly rooted in family systems theory, a lot of the concepts that she illustrates can also be found in the theoretical framework of Emotionally Focused Therapy. Sue Johnson, one of the founders of EFT, gives a thorough, practically applicable guide to this therapy, which stands on the solid foundation of attachment theory, and is supported by decades of research. The main target group for this book are professionals, though it is really approachable and understandable even if you’ve never heard of attachment theory before.
Consciousness Medicine by Françoise Bourzat: A book about the therapeutic application of psychedelic drugs, written by a genuine expert in the field, whose extensive, decades-long background as a teacher and facilitator of altered states, as well as her training in psychology and somatic therapy make her a knowledgeable, trustworthy source. Many people who dabbled with psychedelics for recreational purposes often report having had a meaningful experience, but struggle to make sense of it, and/or integrate it into their life. This book explains the science behind the process; it is also deeply rooted in, and respectful of, the traditions and mastery of the medicine men and women who have practiced this type of consciousness exploration for generations.
Thoughts Without A Thinker: Psychotherapy from a Buddhist Perspective by Mark Epstein: An amazing book that draws parallels between the classic psychotherapy/psychoanalysis and the Buddhist teachings (spoiler alert: there are many of them). It is also a great guide to how a personal meditation practice can add value and perspective to your work with clients, through increased self-awareness, greater ability for connection, empathy and understanding.
